scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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