she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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