Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
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