was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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