at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
