You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
