That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
