he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
