Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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