Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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