would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
