i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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