Dual....:-)
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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