I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
