just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
