So drunk its hurt
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
