I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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