Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
