Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
