No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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