guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
