He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
