Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
