Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It's blow job season.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
