After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
