Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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