I should be sponsored by Trojan
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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