You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
