guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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