Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
