they need to just BURY HIM!
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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