The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
