I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
