Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Randomize
