toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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