I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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