Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
