was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
