I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
