I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
