I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I have tasted many bathrooms
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
