tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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