My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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