i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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