Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
