WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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