lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
