can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
