Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
