I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
