Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
