none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You ruined the universe
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
