these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
My breasts were aching with rage.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
