i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
